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I Don't Like My Chances On The Outside

by lilo

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1.
Settled 03:20
Settled Tell me is this settled? Or have I downgraded To uncomfortable? I don’t like my chances On the outside Familiar The sick familiarity Of never recognising Almost anything Tapping at a turnstile For the inside Baby that’s the name of it A name I’ve never known And it’s only getting further The longer I go on Thinking I’m doing so much thinking And coming up with nothing Except escape plans With no money in the piggy bank No key to let me out the back Maybe I should move in With my parents if they’re free I would be so quiet And I would be so lucky And I’d set some cash aside this time And pay someone to talk And I’d lie about the state of it Like I’ve done ten times before
2.
3.
You never thought Never thought You’d hear me speak like this But you did It’s just a thought Just a thought That I dream to say And it’s out of my hands I can’t watch through my fingers anymore And if we’ve found the good ones Then what is it all for It’s your hill to die on I’m just calling you down I’m leaving my light on If you come around Our days are all numbered Bodies pulled to the ground You rest your head On the glass Of the car window And we were both Sat on the pavement When he wouldn’t take you home And you didn’t smoke Like you’re doing before Now I’m sick of the man Who misses each shot And demands one more It’s your hill to die on I’m just calling you down I’m leaving my light on If you come around Our days are all numbered Bodies pulled to the ground It’s your hill to die on I’m just calling you down But even in silence You’re still making me proud But I can’t describe How I’m watching you drown
4.
Spit Up 04:40
If it’s nothing to you Let it be more to me I see your eyes wide In insincerity I will count every step Keep my gaze to the floor You said crying won’t suit me Pulled my teeth in to yours If it’s nothing to you Then let’s not pretend I’d be too sick and tired To see you again Wouldn’t come all this way Now you’re forcing my hand A woman unwelcome A coward of a man Rest easy tonight Leave me out here alone You shut all the windows I broke in to your family home If it’s nothing to you Make it nothing to me Make it nothing for her When you get up and leave Spit me out Down your front I can’t be What you want
5.
Always wish I was here with my friends Never worrying, cos they all knew what I meant I’d trade in my love And I always have I always wish I was there What am I ever doing better? I even try to write like you And I always have And I always have Put me in a dark room Red light on and a stack of old photographs You know, you’ll be, forever My friend Rode my bike to the top of the hill Chains off and I’m going faster Scrape my body along A razor path Well it’s time we cut it out What am I even looking forward to? But I try to look up Like I always do Like I always do Put me in a dark room Red light on and a stack of old photographs You know, you’ll be, forever My friend So caught up and I wanna fill ya in I wanna get a drink I wanna catch a drift I wanna common ground I wanna find you out

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released April 14, 2023

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